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On Keeping Score

As human beings we love to keep score.  The first question you want to know when you turn on a game already in progress is, “What's the score?!”  The first important scorekeepers in our lives are our parents.  As we grow up, we are eager to learn how to win their attention, their smiles, their approval.  Teachers may be next as they keep score with report cards.  Coaches teach us to keep score and, later on, it's our bosses, co workers, or neighbors.  Our educational system is based on test scores, GPAs, AP, ACT and SAT scores. An online magazine recently posted a list of the 50 most beautiful women in the world ranked from 1 to 50. Honestly, I thought that #50 was just as beautiful as #1 but I wonder if the one at the bottom of the list was upset? Unfortunately, our inner sense of worth and well-being is often tied to the scores that we get.

One of the ways we tend to keep score is by comparisons.  My father used to say, “Comparisons are odious” when any of his girls would play the game of comparisons.  Psychologists say people engage in three types of comparing.  They compare their situation to those who are better off—upward comparison.  They compare themselves to those at the same level—lateral comparison.  And they compare themselves to those who are worse off—downward comparison.  Each type carries dangers: the first incites envy, the second competition, and the third arrogance.  If we define our own value and the value of others in terms of the world scoring system we probably will always be unhappy.

How does God keep score? Thankfully, God doesn't keep score.  Every morning as the sun rises we have a brand day to live and to love.  Fresh start.  God works with totally different rules and has a different way of accounting.  There's a passage of scripture where Paul says: “Your attitude should be the same  as that of Christ Jesus: Who, being in very God, did not consider equality with God  something to be grasped, but made himself nothing, taking the very nature of a servant.”  Jesus wasn't somebody who spent his trying to climb up a ladder even though he was “at the top of the organizational chart of the universe.” Jesus looked like a failure in the world scoring system.  He wasn't a   by the standards of efficiency, good management, or outward success and his life ended in what seemed to be a colossal failure.  However, the cross shows us a different way of measuring success, a way that overturns our desire to keep score. Love keeps no record of wrongs.  True happiness starts when there is no need for score keeping anymore.*

Author Info: Peggy Roberts Verified Senior Staff
Chaplain Peggy Roberts is Vice President of the Life Department here at . Peggy was ordained in the Presbyterian Church (USA) and has served in pastoral ministry as well as being a hospice chaplain.

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