Only the Brave Weep

Early on in my ministry, I discovered that most people are uncomfortable with crying. I would not be able to count the number of times that someone has apologised to me for crying. “I'm sorry” they say between sobs, as though their natural reaction to their pain and loss is somehow something wrong, or a display of weakness which should be publically avoided

It wasn't always the case that tears were seen as a sign of weakness. The bible is full of strong heroes who weep freely and very publicly. One of the greatest biblical heroes, King David, was a famous weeper. He breaks down when his best friend Jonathan is killed in battle, and he is inconsolable when his son Absalom is killed. Upon discovering that their camp had been raided by the enemy, their women and children taken captive, David and his troops “wept until there was no strength left in them to weep.” Lest the reader get the impression that this emotional outburst rendered these men helpless, the bible goes on to describe how David and his men tracked the raiders, resumed battle and returned with their wives and children.

In classical literature, the heroes of Homer's epics are no less adept at displaying their emotions. The battle-hardened Achilles weeps bitterly when his friend Patroklos is killed, and he also has a tearful outburst when Agamemnon takes his new found love. In turn, Agamemnon's tears flow freely, when he finally admits his mistake “weeping even as a fountain of dark water, that down over the face of a projecting cliff, poureth its dusky stream.”

Rather than seeing tears, particularly in men, as superficial and weak, these ancient sources imply the opposite. Weeping is an expression of a well-developed interior character. Words are inadequate to express the full depth and range of human feeling. Tears flow when language breaks down. When a dear friend of mine suffered a tragic and untimely death, I found language wholly inadequate to convey the full force of my feelings. To fight my tears would have been both a betrayal to myself as well as to the memory of my friend. Tears are important and necessary. Denying this most human of expressions is not always a sign of strength, but sometimes is quite the opposite. Sometimes it takes bravery to cry.*

Author Info: Andrew Moore

Chaplain Andrew is the Associate Chaplain here at the Campus. Before relocating to Arizona in 2014, Andrew lived and studied in the united Kingdom. Andrew was ordained in the Anglican Church and has worked in a variety of parishes.