On Children

On august 22nd my husband and I will be taking our daughter Maddie up to Northern Arizona University to begin college.  There have been many plans and preparations throughout her senior year as she diligently applied to various colleges and scholarships and took all the required preparatory exams.  Then came the BIG decision—which college will it be?  When she decided on NAU there was momentary relief that the decision was made and then the next stage of preparations began as we learned about all that she needs to bring with her, who will be her roommate and in which dorm she will live.  During these days attention is mostly showered on Maddie as people ask with excitement where she will be going to college?!  However, I'm finding that those same people turn to me to ask, “And how are you doing mom?  You're going to be an empty nester!”  When the kid flies from the nest everyone wonders what the parents are going to do with all their newly found time!  My heart is not breaking as my child leaves home. She is excited to test her wings and learn about life as an independent adult.  I, of course, will miss her and I'm sure I will worry more than I need to at times but I am excited that her life will be filled with fresh and new experiences.  It's helpful to remind myself that life is a balance of holding on and letting go.  The prophet Khalil Gibran's poem On Children says it all:

Your children are not your children.

They are the sons and daughters of Life's longing for itself.

They come through you but not from you,

And though they are with you yet they belong not to you.

You may give them your love but not your thoughts,

For they have their own thoughts.

You may house their bodies but not their souls,

For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow,

which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams.

You may strive to be like them,

but seek not to make them like you.

For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday.

You are the bows from which your children

as living arrows are sent forth.

The archer sees the mark upon the path of the infinite,

and He bends you with His might

that His arrows may go swift and far.

Let your bending in the archer's hand be for gladness;

For even as He loves the arrow that flies,

so He loves also the bow that is stable.

Author Info: Peggy Roberts

Chaplain Peggy Roberts is Vice President of the Spiritual Life Department here at Beatitudes. Peggy was ordained in the Presbyterian Church (USA) and has served in pastoral ministry as well as being a hospice chaplain.