Abusive Behavior

According to the NCES (National Center for Education Statistics, nces.ed.gov), in 2017, about 20% of students ages 12-18 reported being bullied at school during the school year.  The percentage increases once different types of ill behaviors are considered.  They were the subject of rumors, being made fun of, called names, were insulted, pushed, shoved, tripped, spat on, excluded from activities, threatened with harm, peer pressured and/or had their property destroyed.  There are a number of other independent research centers who report they collected data from youth in that same age range, indicating the amount of students being bullied in 2019 is as high as 73%!

Sadly, however, bullying is becoming an increasingly common problem among seniors.

Throughout our work-career, the “Workplace Bullying Institute” found that “nearly one fifth of all American workers reported bullying in the workplace and another 19% witnessed it”.  One would hope that as we grow older, we also grow wiser and stop this behavior.  Sadly, however, bullying is becoming an increasingly common problem among seniors. 

While the communal-living nature of a life plan Community can greatly enhance the quality of life through positive interaction, activities and a broad social circle, it can also open the door for the formation of exclusive cliques and a wide variety of bullying behaviors.  Such, for some familiar, behavior might take shape in the form of criticizing or ridiculing another person (resident or staff) who does not meet the individual's accepted standard for clothing, social status, religion, sexual orientation, economic background, or virtually any other characteristic or status.  A bully might be verbally or physically abusive, steal or destroy a victim's property or lie about someone in order to cast the victim in a poor light.  Seemingly innocent behaviors, such as saving seats in dining rooms or during outings, can actually be quite hurtful to those outside of the clique and make them feel isolated and cast out.  Bullying can even occur in the common laundry room, by removing someone's time reservation label or taking the victim's clothes out of the washer/dryer and throwing them on the floor.

What causes bullying among seniors?  Elder bullies might have likely exhibited this behavior during a lifetime.  Many elders see their independence and sense of control disappear and, for some, bullying can feel like they are regaining some of that lost power.  Abusive behaviors can be triggered by events such as stress (e.g. moving to a Life Plan Community or other, new environment), trauma (e.g. the loss of a life partner), low self-esteem (e.g. perceived social status of self vs. others) or a defense-mechanism (e.g. being the bully vs. being bullied).

Being bullied has a direct impact on the victim's health; physically, mentally and emotionally.  Consequences of being abused include isolation, depression, self-harm and suicide.  A high price to pay for a bully to feel empowered! 

Beatitudes Campus welcomes and values all people in all their diversity.  Making Beatitudes Campus your home implies the acceptance, support and cooperation of and with all that Beatitudes Campus stands for.  Please take a moment and pick up a copy of our “Abusive Behavior and Older Adults policy and Procedure” at the Information Station (Town Plaza).  If you witness someone being bullied, consider speaking up for them and bidding the bully to stop.  You may literally save someone's life.  If you feel uncomfortable getting involved, we completely understand and would rather you don't put yourself at risk of being bullied as well.  Whether you are a witness to, or the victim of, abuse, please let resident services know; we will address the issue. You can contact me at x18490, or send a message to me right here by going to my profile @gholberg.

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