Every Last Drop

“Nothing about me, without me” is a well-known phrase in the movement towards better end of life care. Traditionally, a person with a terminal illness is treated by doctors who focus on curing the disease, even when it is thought to be incurable. The question becomes, if you have weeks or months left to live, how do you want to spend that time?

Atul Gawande addresses this question in his book Being Mortal (2014). Gawande is a surgeon who is known for advocating for people who are dying, to provide them with the “best possible day,” whatever that looks like for them. He believes that speaking openly and honestly about death –between doctors and patients, friends and family, and society as a whole—is beneficial for all involved.

The movement towards a better way of dying focuses on not only our physical selves (“how can we help you be more comfortable?”) but also our social selves (“what is important to you in the days, weeks, months ahead?”) our emotional selves (“who do you need to talk to? What remains unsaid?”) and our spiritual selves (“what supports you spiritually at this time?”) To neglect any of these aspects of our humanity is to risk missing an opportunity to enhance our lives, even as we are dying.

David Kessler outlined the rights of the dying in 1997, and they include:

• The right to be treated as a living human being.
• The right to maintain a sense of hopefulness, however changing its focus may be.
• The right to express feelings and emotions about death in one's own way.
• The right to participate in all decisions concerning one's care.
• The right to expect continuing medical care, even though the goals may change from “cure” to “comfort” goals.
• The right to have all questions answered honestly and fully.
• The right to seek spirituality. The right to be free of physical pain.
• The right to express feelings and emotions about pain in one's own way.
• The right to die. The right to die in peace and dignity.
• The right not to die alone.
• The right to expect that the sanctity of the body will be respected after death.

Facing death is a difficult task for most of us. It can be made better by asking not “what's the matter with you?” but rather “what matters to you?”

Author Info: Beatitudes Campus

At the foundation of Beatitudes Campus is the vision of Church of the Beatitudes pastors and congregation members to create a better alternative for older adults than the nursing homes of the early 1960s. The type of community they imagined was the first of its kind in Arizona. Beatitudes Campus is proud to continue the legacy of our founders, by being a leader in the field of aging services for over 50 years.