Resilience is the process of adapting well in the face of adversity, trauma, tragedy, or significant sources of stress. It means “bouncing back” from difficult experiences. These tips from the American Psychological Association can help us become more resilient.
Research shows that resilience can be taught. One characteristic is having an “internal locus of control”: believing that you, and not your circumstances, affect your achievements.
What is the story you tell yourself about yourself? How can you re-frame your own story to encourage acceptance and resilience?
Make connections. Good relationships with family members, friends and neighbors are important. Accepting support from those who care about you and will listen to you strengthens resilience.
Avoid seeing crises as insurmountable problems. You can't change the fact that highly stressful events happen, but you can change how you respond. Try looking beyond the present to how future circumstances may be a little better.
Accept that change is a part of living. Certain goals may no longer be attainable as a result of adverse situations. Accepting circumstances that cannot be changed can help you focus on circumstances that you can alter.
Move toward your goals. Develop some realistic goals. Do something regularly — even if it seems like a small accomplishment — that enables you to move toward your goals. Ask yourself, “What's one thing I know I can accomplish today that helps me move in the direction I want to go?”
Look for opportunities for self-discovery. People often learn something about themselves and may find that they have grown in some respect as a result of their struggle with loss. Many people who have experienced tragedies and hardship have reported better relationships, greater sense of strength even while feeling vulnerable, increased sense of self-worth, a more developed spirituality and heightened appreciation for life.
Nurture a positive view of yourself. Developing confidence in your ability to solve problems and trusting your instincts helps build resilience.
Keep things in perspective. Even when facing very painful events, try to consider the stressful situation in a broader context and keep a long-term perspective.
Maintain a hopeful outlook. An optimistic outlook enables you to expect that good things will happen in your life. Try visualizing what you want, rather than worrying about what you fear.
Take care of yourself. Pay attention to your own needs and feelings. Engage in activities that you enjoy and find relaxing. Exercise regularly.
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