Beatitudes Community

It’s the “Feeling”

One of the most important aspects of why folks choose a lifeplan community is the environment.  By that, I am not referring to the air quality or the paint color.  It’s the “feeling” that they have when they come to campus and the sustained sense of inclusion and acceptance once they have moved here.  Those of you who already live on campus are one of bedrock reasons decisions are made to live at Beatitudes Campus and you are additionally the cornerstone of continuing satisfaction and engagement.

I recently became aware of an NPR story about the influx of people who are choosing to retire in some of the highest growth areas of the country (Maricopa is the fastest-growth county in the nation, according to the U.S. Census data) and just this morning I heard that 200 people a day move here.  The piece discussed several new senior living sites but also noted that continuing care retirement communities (CCRCs, or life plan communities) are still one of the strongest choices of all.

Beyond the details about the various options in Phoenix, there was something else about the NPR story that caught my attention.

“The last house I’m gonna have”

The reporter had interviewed a woman named Sara Klemmer, who currently lives in a thriving historic area of town.  For Mrs. Klemmer, the decision to leave the neighborhood she loves makes sense financially and logically, but still, she says it’s been emotionally difficult.  And the notion of joining a continuing care community is a psychological adjustment, too.

‘This is the last house I’m gonna have, the last apartment,’ Klemmer said. ‘You come face to face with your mortality.’”

In all honesty, I hear this sentiment a lot from people who are considering a move to a lifeplan community.  At the heart of this and similar comments is the idea that, “I know I should do this—it makes sense in every aspect—but it’s the finality of it that is holding me back.”

There are four common refrains I often hear when it comes to seniors’ apprehension about a lifeplan community/CCRC move—the reasons that people give for not being “ready,” several of which were voiced or implied by Ms. Klemmer.

“I’m still active and independent.”

“I don’t want to leave my home.”

“Moving is too much of a headache.”

“I’m worried that I can’t afford to move to a Life Plan Community this early.”

All four of these reasons for putting off a Life Plan Community move (whether to a patio home, entry fee or rental apartment) or wavering about the decision to move are completely understandable.  However, many of you analyzed your circumstances and came to some conclusions that are often pretty startling until you give them some thought.

Here are a few important points that we ask folks to weigh… and it is always of great benefit when we are able to ask so many of you to tell the story of how you came to your conclusions to move to the campus.

Choosing to “age in place,” instead of downsizing and moving to a Life Plan Community, likely is the easiest solution in the short-term. But should you experience a health setback in the future, this option may end up being not only physically challenging (especially if you do not have a bedroom and bathroom on the first floor of your home) but also costly (the current average cost of in-home care is around $4,000 per month. But this is based on just 6 hours of care per day. If you require more care, especially if it is 24-hour care, it could double or triple this amount.

Opting to remain in your home also can cause tremendous issues in the long-term for your adult children, who may end up dealing with the many challenges that come with caregiving for an elderly parent. This can be an especially difficult situation if your adult children live far away, have young children of their own to care for, or lack flexibility with their job.

The fact is, someone will have to sort through all of your belongings eventually—likely your adult children or another loved one. They will be forced to choose what to keep and what to give away or sell, pack and move everything, and then sell the home. It is a daunting task to put on someone else’s shoulders, both physically and emotionally.

Making the right choice for you

The sentiments expressed by Ms. Klemmer in the NPR story are extremely common. After all, moving out of a cherished home and into a Life Plan Community is a major life change. It would be concerning if a person had zero apprehensions about it!

But I can tell you this, having spoken with literally hundreds of Life Plan Community residents over the years: the vast majority of people who decide to move to a Life Plan Community are extremely happy they did. Yes, most residents say there was an adjustment period when they first moved in, but in the long run, the benefits of living in a Life Plan Community—including services, amenities, and a continuum of care services available onsite—far outweigh the inconveniences that come with downsizing and moving.

In many surveys, the number one reason given for delaying a decision about moving to a Life Plan Community was, “I don’t feel that I’m old enough yet.” Some who are well into their 80s even said this.

The idea that this will be your “final move” does force one to confront their own mortality, as Ms. Klemmer points out, and some people aren’t entirely comfortable with facing this reality. This fact may be at the heart of this common sentiment voiced in surveys that “I’m not old enough yet.”

However, what I hear from most residents is how glad they are that they moved earlier, rather than waiting until some unspecified time in the future when they felt “ready” or “old enough.” Moving sooner rather than later has given them the opportunity to build meaningful relationships with other residents, establishing a solid social and support network for the unknowns of the future (such as dealing with a health crisis or a partner’s passing). This ready-made support system, along with the peace of mind that comes with knowing your care needs will be met no matter what, is a compelling reason to put aside your trepidation and put the wheels into motion on making the move.

I’m happy to bring you up to date that we have a substantial number of planners getting ready to join us in the next year.  We have contracted for 29 of the 34 new patio homes and have an additional two on hold!  The campus mission marches on!  Be sure to welcome your new neighbors as you see them at events and around campus.  And don’t forget that there is a great resident referral bonus available to all of you who live on campus.  Stop by the marketing office to get the details and your referral form!*

Money

Money. Even under the best of circumstances, it’s a subject few people want to discuss…even with individuals in their own family. But as people age, it becomes important—and sometimes necessary—that the senior’s adult children or another trusted person has an understanding of their financial situation—what is sometimes referred to as “financial caregiving.”

It happens too often that an older person suffers a sudden serious health event, and no one knows how or is able to access the person’s money in order to do things like pay household bills, taxes, or medical expenses. Where is mom’s checkbook? Where’s the safe deposit key? What company is the custodian for her IRA? Oh wait, my name isn’t on any of mom’s accounts, so I can’t even access the funds. It’s a difficult situation to navigate, especially on top of the stress of dealing with your loved one’s health crisis.

Another all-too-common scenario: a senior, perhaps in the early stages of dementia or even with normal age-related cognitive decline, begins forgetting to pay their bills. Or it could be that they can’t recall where they put their checkbook and the stamps. Or worse, maybe they have been taken advantage of by a scam artist of some type. Such situations can result in utilities being turned off or a foreclosure on their home, ruin a senior’s credit rating, and even drain the savings they have worked so hard to build up over their lifetime.

These example situations are just a few of the reasons why it’s important for adult children to initiate a conversation with their aging parent(s) about their finances and then take steps to put a plan in place to handle such scenarios where financial caregiving may be necessary. And if your parents are of an advanced age, there really is no time like the present to broach this topic.

But oftentimes, both parties—parent and adult child—put off this crucial discussion. As with most topics that deal with the realities of getting older and even dying, it is human nature to want to avoid these taboo subjects.

Aging parents may be in denial about their level of cognitive and/or physical decline, adamant that they are still perfectly capable of remaining independent, both with their living arrangements and their finances. Adult children may struggle with seeing their parents deteriorate with age and thus want to avoid the misperception that they are “meddling” in their parents’ business.

But the important point for all parties to keep in mind is that this is really just one of the steps that everyone should take in order to prepare for the unknowns of the future. Just as you create a will, save money for retirement, or purchase insurance coverage, taking steps to plan for handling a senior’s finances if they are no longer able to do it themselves should be on the list of things to do before a crisis arises.

Speaking to adult children here: in order to initiate the conversation with your aging parent(s) about putting a plan in place to manage household finances if needed, it is often best simply to find your moment, and dive into the subject. A gentle way to start might go something like this:

“Dad, you know how as most people get older, they may need a little extra help with things like yardwork or chores around the house? Well, I wanted to talk with you about how I might be able to help lift some of the burden off of you when it comes to managing your household finances, just in case it should ever become a challenge for you to do it on your own. I know you and mom worked hard to financially prepare for your retirement and future care needs, and I want to be sure that we have a plan in place so that, if the time comes, we are able to easily access those funds to help take the very best care of you and mom.”

Those of you reading this who are the elders with children, please think of the gift that you can give your children by having this conversation without it being a crisis. 

Many of you know that my own mother passed away this summer, so I am able to tell you with specific reference, here are a few of the specific tasks you will want to consider completing:

Create power of attorney documents, designating someone who will have the ability to make important decisions—including financial decisions—for the senior should they become incapacitated.

Get yourself or another trusted loved one added as an authorized signatory on the banking accounts and the safe deposit box.

Contact the individual retirement account (IRA) custodian company to determine if they have their own specific power of attorney documents that must be completed in order for a loved one to access the IRA’s funds.

If you live far from your parents but still want to prepare for the “what ifs” of their future, you can explore hiring a professional daily money manager—a person who will sit down with your loved one and help them pay bills, file insurance paperwork, balance their checkbook, and much more. Visit American Association of Daily Money Managers to find an insured, bonded money manager in whom you feel confident.

Taking these steps now, before an issue arises, can save you and your loved ones a lot of heartache and headaches down the road should something happen that prevents the senior from being able to attend to their own finances.

Sons, daughters, decision makers: if you’re still feeling unsure or overwhelmed by the prospect of assisting your aging parent with the management of their household finances, there are a number of places you can turn for help.

Visit the National Caregivers Library site and search for “financial caregiving,” or go to “Money Matters” in the navigation. You’ll find an extensive array of articles on the topic.

Similarly, visit org and search their site for the phrase “financial caregiving.” For example, they have an informative whitepaper entitled, “Family Financial Caregiving: Rewards, Stresses, and Responsibilities.”

The Consumer Financial Protection Bureau has several guides on managing someone else’s money, which can help financial caregivers navigate the process and their responsibilities.*