The word “community” is a tricky term to pin down nowadays. Members of a Facebook group may have never met in real life and consider their digital interactions, wherein they’ve never heard each other’s voice, to have communal components. And residents of a large apartment building might be part of a community, although their only interactions with neighbors are awkward silences in the elevator, or a nod as they pass each other in the hallway. In senior living communities, the term means something very different.
One can think about a retirement community in its most basic form: a roof, four walls and many resident apartments and rooms in various buildings with a lot of furniture. But the people who make up a community make it much more than just a roof over residents’ heads. There are the residents, their families and the employees. As I leaf through some photos from holiday parties at previous communities at which I have served as well as those at Beatitudes Campus, I’m struck by how many employees brought their own children and other loved ones into the communities to celebrate the holidays.
That sort of interconnectedness reflects what Beatitudes Campus is all about: the people. Connectedness is about people. When prospective residents come to visit the campus, the most common things they ask are whether the community is right for them and, if would it be OK if they talk to other residents. We actively encourage prospective residents to get to know the people who live at the campus by sharing a meal, going shopping or just hanging out together over coffee. It’s kind of like dating. You can tell after half an hour or so if the person on the other end of the table, or beside you at the bar, is someone you want to go out with again or hang out with as friends.
Feel the energy of connectedness. In my 25 years working in aging services, I’ve noticed something about senior living communities. You can feel the energy of the community – or the lack thereof – very quickly. Are people active and engaged? I’ve seen enough to know that when that energy and activity are present, it’s very likely due to the cultivating efforts of the senior management and the staff. When they hold this value high, they can facilitate a great energy and sense of interconnectedness. How proud I am to know that is a core value and a daily determined effort by not only our life enrichment department, but of the campus as a whole—staff and residents alike.
The wisdom of staying connected? That interconnectedness not only makes residents feel more comfortable and engaged, it also has tremendous health benefits. When residents were surveyed who are at least 100 years old for the e-book “100 Years of Wisdom: The Perspective of Centenarians,” many of the centenarians cited their marriages and their relationships with family and friends as factors in their longevity. Of course, there were differences; some centenarians felt that abstaining from alcohol and smoking helped them live very long lives, while others swore by the efficacy of their regular whiskeys. But the benefits of communal living and close relationships were a common benefit that was cited frequently.
Most people want to feel a sense of belonging and satisfaction in finding their purpose and meaning. And many residents of senior living communities find that sense of belonging amongst their peers who are all living together within a common context and vision.
As aging takes place, we may find it harder to remove ourselves from our comfort zone. Meeting new people and welcoming them into one’s life can be stressful and difficult even under the best of circumstances. But as people age, they refine and fine-tune their emotional intelligence. In a community where members bring long lives full of wisdom and experience, a lot of great ideas and stories are sure to get shared.
Staying connected doesn’t mean loss of privacy. And, of course, there’s no pressure. Residents have their own living spaces. They can choose to stay in their apartments and read a book, or they can meet a small group of friends in a community room, or invite them over for coffee. They can be as active as they want to be.
As we near the end of another fiscal year here at the campus, I’ve been thinking about how Valen-tine’s Day falls in February. Wouldn’t the day celebrating love and warm connections make more sense in the spring or summer? Irrespective, what is great to know is that no matter what point on the calendar, whatever sort of relationship or friendship residents are looking for, the key is to feel part of a larger community, where they can feel comfortable, safe and appreciated and where, as my friend Rev. Jerry Roseberry often quips, “to have a great third act.”
The word “community” is a tricky term to pin down nowadays. Members of a Facebook group may have never met in real life and consider their digital interactions, wherein they’ve never heard each other’s voice, to have communal components. And residents of a large apartment building might be part of a community, although their only interactions with neighbors are awkward silences in the elevator, or a nod as they pass each other in the hallway. In senior living communities, the term means something very different.