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Tag: forgiveness

On the Other Side of Easter

Sun, April 28, 2019 Published by

Now we are on the other side of Easter. Remember, Easter was not the glorious event for the disciples that it was for us. The trumpets did not sound. Easter lilies and spring flowers did not announce new life in their midst. Unexpectedly, momentarily, they saw Jesus alive and then very quickly he was gone. It had to have been a very uncertain place to be. What happens now? I imagine the disciples were tempted to go back to where they were. They were tempted to go back to who they were. They were tempted to go back to what they were.

I read a meditation during Holy Week that has stuck with me. It keeps challenging my heart and mind. Mary Luti, a longtime seminary educator and pastor writes: “A new command I give you: Love one another as I have loved you…” (John 13:34) It was on the night he was betrayed that Jesus gave us the love commandment. In fact, it was right after his betrayer, flush with silver, left the table and slipped away into the night. Scripture says that Jesus knew where Judas was going. It’s a safe bet the others did, too. Frederick Niedner once wondered whether, after hearing that commandment about the way they should love each other, any of the disciples got up and went after Judas. ‘Did anyone fear for him, miss him, or try, even after he brought soldiers to Gethsemene, to bring him back and talk him out of his shame, his anger, his rapidly deepening hell?’

Did anyone try to love him as Jesus did? Tradition has consigned Judas to a gruesome death and the deepest circle of hell, so my guess would be no. Which means that the church—that’s you and me—hasn’t yet learned the first thing about the love commandment. Or about our own pain. For we all have at least one Judas missing from our tables, out there in the night, unforgiven and alone. And each of us may be a Judas for someone else, absent from someone else’s feast. Maybe when we sit together at the church’s Table to share bread and cup, we should add a chair. And leave it empty, an aching absence. Maybe the sight of that absence would shame us into the world to look high and low for Judas, and to keep looking until all our Judases come home.”

The commandment to love is demanding. How often do we try to make it easy by loving the lovable rather than seeking out those who really push us and make our blood boil? How often have we chosen to continue sitting at the table while a family member leaves in anger out the door instead of getting up and going after them? Who is missing from your table and how do you deal with the aching absence? Who are you wishing would come home? Have you ever been the outcast of the family, the one absent from the feast? Have you ever felt beyond the reach of forgiveness? As a society, who do we leave behind and never go back for? How will you take seriously the love commandment this side of Easter?

 

A Place for the Tiger

Sun, February 10, 2019 Published by

There’s a story about the famous painter Leonardo da Vinci.  During the time when he was working on his famous painting “The Last Supper,” he became angry with an acquaintance of his. The two men had words and parted from each other on very bad terms. Leonardo returned to the church on whose wall he was painting the fresco.  It was no use. Leonardo could paint nothing he was happy with. He had reached the point in the project where he was doing the face of Jesus. Time and again he tried to render a likeness of the Lord, but he was unable to do so.  Finally the great artist realized that he had work to do, but it was not in the church he had been commissioned to decorate. Leonardo put down his brushes and sought out the man who had been the subject of his wrath. He asked the man’s forgiveness. The man accepted his apology and offered an apology of his own. It was only then that Leonardo was able to return to the church and finish painting the face of Jesus.

St. Paul wrote a letter to the church at Ephesus because he knew that the church was engaged in quarreling that threatened to tear them apart.  He counseled them: “No more lies, no more pretense. Tell your neighbor the truth. In Christ’s body we’re all connected to each other, after all. When you lie to others, you end up lying to yourself. Go ahead and be angry. You do well to be angry—but don’t use your anger as fuel for revenge. And don’t stay angry. Don’t go to bed angry. Don’t give the Devil that kind of foothold in your life.” Sometimes we feel we should never be angry, we should repress our true feelings.  However, when we do that, our anger continues to simmer within us and ultimately festers or blows up and can be terribly destructive.  Avoidance of conflict makes room for the devil.  Anger is a natural part of our emotional makeup as humans.

Think back on your own life and reflect on what role anger has played in your relationships—was it healthy anger or destructive? Are you a spewer or a stewer?  Anger itself is not a sin. Sometimes we are called to be angry.  The world would have lost much without the blazing anger of William Wilberforce against the slave trade. If Martin Luther King had not been angry at racism, the civil rights movement would not have flourished. If Gandhi had not been angry at oppression, India’s independence might not have happened. Anger, channeled in a positive way, can be a catalyst for change.  The famous writer Dr. Samuel Johnson was once asked to temper the harshness and anger in a book he was about to publish.  His answer to that request was that “he would not cut off his claws, nor make his tiger a cat, to please anybody.”  There is a place for the tiger in life; and when the tiger becomes a tabby cat, something is lost.  How many relationships have been forever destroyed because some small issue was left to fester, grow, and divide the best of friends? Resolution of differences may take a long time but Paul is telling us to put aside our anger quickly.  If we have been in the wrong, pray to God to give us the grace to go and admit that it was so; and even if we have been right, pray to God to give us the graciousness which will enable us to take the first step to put matters right.

 

When God is Too Good

Sun, July 9, 2017 Published by

We are half way through our bible study on the Book of Jonah, which most know a bit about as the man who got swallowed by a whale for three days, but the rest of his story isn’t so well known.  Jonah is one of my favorites out of the minor prophets.  (Minor meaning it’s a small book with four chapters but it’s no less important than Isaiah with 66 chapters).  Jonah is a story that speaks of the meaning of grace and God’s purposes and our motivations.  Jonah is called to go to preach repentance to the Ninevites—the hated foreigners, the religiously incorrect, the racially impure, the decidedly unchosen.  And frankly, Jonah was angry about taking a message of hope and deliverance for them.  Frederick Buechner says that at the moment God called Jonah to go to Nineveh, the expression on Jonah’s face was that of a man who has just gotten a whiff of trouble in his septic tank.  “Anywhere, Lord, anywhere, but Nineveh!” Far from wanting the Ninevites to get saved, nothing would have pleased him more than to see them get what they deserved, what they had coming to them.  So Jonah decides to book it out of there and gets on a boat to go literally to the farthest reaches of the sea.  Fast forward, and a little meditation time in the belly of the fish provides the motivation for Jonah to reconsider.

Jonah still reluctantly goes and preaches his sermon of eight words, shortest sermon ever (we all love a good short sermon don’t we?!), “Yet, forty days and Nineveh shall be overthrown!”  In the depths of his soul, Jonah believes that the Ninevites won’t change and he relishes the thought of their destruction, but he was surprised when the entire city repented from the king down to the lowest peasant and even the animals!  They promise to shape up and God decides to be gracious to them and bless them and Jonah is furious; he is seething.  He lets God have it: “You see God!  I knew all along you wouldn’t go through with it.  I knew you’d go soft, you’re too good—all gracious and merciful.  You think they’re really going to change?!  I’d rather die than live so take my life!”  History tells us the Assyrians (Ninevites) were brutal and violent.  Despite this, God sends them a word of redemption and grace through Jonah.  God counters their torturous behavior with grace and mercy.  How do we respond to acts of violence—with grace and mercy?  The lesson of the “wideness of God’s mercy” is a lesson most of us, most of the world, most of the church, has yet to learn.  We want God to be merciful and gracious, slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love when it comes to our own sins, but God don’t be too good to those others.  They deserve to get theirs!  God has an awesome sense of forgiveness.  There is more to God than we can or ever will understand.  To me there is great hope and promise in believing that.

Happiness Is…

Mon, June 26, 2017 Published by

Ok, so I’m always reading articles and often quote them in this space when I write for the Roadrunner.  I saw an interesting recap recently of what makes you happy.  You might think it would be money, power or fame. Well, think again. Positive psychology guru, Martin Seligman, studied happiness and found these characteristics of happy people. How do you rate when it comes to feeling happy?

Find your peeps – happy people tend to spend time with others and spend the least time alone. We all need support from others, friendships and meaningful relationships.

Judging—happy people don’t judge themselves by what others do or have. They feel comfortable judging themselves by their own measures.

Toxic—forget the new car, the bigger house and the big screen TV.  Materialism is toxic for happiness.

Stay optimistic—no matter what happens, happy people stay optimistic. They look at the glass half full versus half empty.

Action—staying optimistic leads to action. It’s not just what you believe or your outlook on life that contributes to happiness, but action follows.

Give – remember the adage, “It is better to give then to receive?” This is true of happy people. They aren’t self-absorbed and are more satisfied with life.

Talents – we all have strengths and weaknesses, but happy people know their strengths and use them. They share their talents.

Gratitude – is part of being a happy person. Happy people feel it, appreciate small things and people. Life is a gift and so are the good things that happen to them.

Forgive – people who are willing to forgive others are happy people. Forgiveness prevents bitterness or feelings of resentment. Be quick to forgive and you will live a happier life. Forgiveness is the strongest link to happiness.

Invest – happy people develop intimacy and growth in relationships.  They invest in people and are willing to examine themselves in relationships and grow.

Embrace – shift your focus from material things to appreciating the beauty of our world. Build your intimate relationships and grow as a person. Do everything with a sense of giving and gratitude. Not only will you make the world better, but you will be happier!

I also thought about all of these in terms of the life that’s available here on campus, and so many of them are exactly what I see played out in the life enriching way in which hundreds of you continue to teach me the best avenues for successful senior living.  With over ninety clubs, organizations and classes in which to invest time, talent and a quest for lifelong learning, I hear so many of you say, “I’ve found my peeps”.  Well, maybe not quite that phrase, but that you have more friends and opportunities to engage than in many years or ever.

Your optimism is refreshing and contagious.  Looking at challenges as opportunities throughout life as many of you have, inspires me to be a better man.  So many of you also tell us, as we come to the point of discussing finances when moving here, that you eschewed materialism in order to raise your family and provide for later in life.  What an example you are to those of us who are constantly assaulted by media messages telling us we need more “stuff.”

The examples of giving of yourself, in terms of time and talents, are often astonishing.  Whether it’s a service organization, lifelong learning, teaching English as a second language, being a welcoming resident Ambassador, tutoring at Maryland School or your involvement in the emerging 19 North community action organization, I love basking in the light of your teachings.  You invest in, and embrace others, freely, and I can’t tell you how much I appreciate that so many of you often take the time to help me in innumerable ways.  So, before I get myself in trouble by starting a list (and inevitably leaving someone out), can I enthusiastically say, “thank you” from the bottom of my heart to you all?  This community lives out happiness in such a meaningful way, and I am so honored to enthusiastically represent it! 