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Category: Inspirational

Cherish Your Friends

Sun, August 7, 2022 Published by

This past spring as part of my Lenten discipline I took on something instead of giving up something. I had been thinking a lot about past friendships from college and graduate school and I realized I missed those people in my life. I decided I would take time to reach out and hopefully connect with six friends with whom I had lost contact. I was interested then to read of a study that encourages people to make those phone calls or send a text or email. According to a study published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, people often underestimate how much their friends and old acquaintances appreciate hearing from them.

“If there’s been someone that you’ve been hesitating to reach out to, that you’ve lost touch with perhaps, you should go ahead and reach out, and they’re likely to appreciate it much more than you think,” said Peggy Liu, the study’s lead author. The researchers conducted a series of 13 experiments with more than 5,900 participants to see if people could accurately estimate how much their friends value them reaching out and what forms of communication make the biggest impact. In these experiments, reaching out was defined as a phone call, text, email, note or small gift. The experiments found that initiators significantly underestimated the recipient’s reaction to the check-in.

“It’s often less about these kinds of grand overtures that we can make in our relationships and more about the small moments of letting a friend know that we’re thinking of them,” said Miriam Kirmayer, a clinical psychologist and friendship expert who was not involved in the study. A recipient appreciated the communication more when it was surprising, such as when it was from someone the recipient did not regularly contact or when the participant and recipient did not consider themselves to be close friends, the study found. “When you feel that sense of positive surprise,” Liu said, “it really further boosts the appreciation that you feel.”

Relationships, including friendships, can be one of the strongest predictors of how healthy we are and how long we live, and they can boost our overall well-being. During the pandemic we certainly found that when we are disconnected and isolated from our friends and loved ones we suffer from increased anxiety and depression. We know that friendships require nourishment and after leaving college and graduate school I had starved the relationships which had meant so much to me. Most of the six friends I reached out to live in other states and one lives out of the country. I was able to see the friends that live here in person and the others I spoke to on the phone. With each one it was fun to hear their voice and catch up on where they are at in life. Just as the study found, each person I talked to appreciated the fact that I had reached out to renew our friendship. My intention now is to feed those friendships and keep them alive. Who are the friends that you might reach out to?

Things That Can Be Equally True

Sun, February 6, 2022 Published by

One of the many challenging aspects of living is to understand and experience that two seemingly opposing things can be true. This life lesson doesn’t come easily however, because as humans, we like to keep things simple. Black and white, either or. Our brains are designed to put things into nice, neat, and uncomplicated categories. This sorting and categorizing serves an important purpose: it’s a lot easier for us to interact with our world this way. Everything seems to settle into a nice category. Happiness and sadness. Good people and bad people. Healthy food and unhealthy food. True and false. Jean Piaget, a prolific child development researcher and psychologist suggests that when new information comes into our brains, we have two options: fit it nicely into an existing category or schema (assimilation) or do a complete overhaul of the categories to fit the new information (accommodation). At some point each of us realizes that our world is not so simple and our categories do not seem to fully encapsulate our experiences with life.

Embracing the “AND” or holding two ideas at once can be very freeing. Think about holding these truths: You are resilient AND you need a break, you are kind AND have boundaries, others have it worse AND your pain is valid, you are independent AND you still need others, you can be sad and grieving AND relieved and joyful, you are strong AND you need support, you can be sure about something AND change your mind, you are sad sometimes AND you are happy. Someone has suggested that perhaps that’s why we have two hands—to be able to hold the complexity of feelings and experiences of life. Dual feelings and beliefs can be equally true. One of them doesn’t cancel out the other. Writer and podcaster Tsh Oxenreider says it this way: “Two opposing things can be equally true. Counting the days till Christmas doesn’t mean we hate Halloween. I go to church on Sundays, and still hold the same faith at the pub on Saturday night. I shamelessly play a steady stream of eighties pop music and likewise have an undying devotion to Chopin. And perhaps most significantly: I love to travel and I love my home.” Somehow it seems that as we get older life presents to us many more nuanced, gray areas that don’t fit into nice, neat, black and white categories. Sometimes we need to be easy on ourselves and others, we are all just doing our best! We can celebrate AND be challenged by the fact that we are complex, loving, impassioned individuals that deserve to feel a range of emotions without judgement from ourselves or others.

Love Goes Where It Is Needed

Mon, December 13, 2021 Published by

Yesterday I was reading a book by Evelyn Underhill. She was a nineteenth century poet, novelist, and a theologian. One bit of this book in particular stood out to me. She wrote this about love, that “Love is creative. It does not flow along the easy paths, spending itself in the attractive. It cuts new channels, goes where it is needed. Love goes where it is needed.” In the New Testament scriptures, we hear something else about love – that ‘God is love, and those who abide in love abide in God, and God abides in them’. Paired together these two insights make a remarkable statement: That God is made known to us as love when we need it most.

So where do we need love most?

Well perhaps we need love most in the parts of us that are broken, or hurting, or afraid; the parts of us that we often don’t want to acknowledge ourselves, and sometimes struggle to share with God. But that is where God is. Exactly where we need Love to be,
– with us in our vulnerability, where and when we need God the most, cutting new channels into our hearts. Abiding with us. Staying with us always. Evelyn Underhill knew that love went where it was needed by the person of Jesus, and the first letter of John explains how she could know that; “God showed his love for us by sending his only Son into the world, so that we might have life through him. This is what love is: it is not that we have loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son to be the means by which we are made whole. Dear friends, if this is how God loved us, then we should love one another” So let’s go and do that – let’s go and love as we know that God is loving us.

Mercy’s Beam I See

Tue, December 7, 2021 Published by

Advent has always been my favorite season in the Church calendar. Singing in all of those Advent Carol Services as a child whilst holding a flickering candle clearly made an favorable impression… despite the piercing cold!

The theologian Walter Bruggemann reminds us that while Advent is a time for getting ready, “getting ready time is not mainly about busy activity, entertaining and fatigue.” He goes on to explain his thought on how to be prepared in a spiritual sense for the coming celebrations of Christmas is about also being “abrasive, in that our preparation is also linked with asking, thinking, pondering and redeciding”. Abrasive is at first glance a curious choice of words, but by “abrasive” he means that the season of Advent is best approached by making a conscious and perhaps even uncomfortable decision to rebalance and reorient our lives, refocusing on how we can live our lives fully in tune with God. When experienced with an open heart and mind, the season of Advent aims to provide insight and perspectives for us to welcome God’s light into our lives in the person of Jesus. Over these past couple of years, carving out that space for pondering upon how God’s light shines into the darkness and difficult parts of our lives becomes even more vital. And so instead of being unbalanced in a perpetual state of getting ready so as not being really ready for anything – I hope you may join with me in being mindful of how we use or time between now and Christmas. To find the right balance of preparation and contemplation as we ponder, watch and wait. Perhaps I’ll start by revisiting the words of Charles Wesley’s Advent hymn ‘Christ whose glory fills the skies’; “Dark and cheerless is the morn unaccompanied by thee; Joyless is the day’s return, till thy mercy’s beams I see, till they inward light impart, glad my eyes, and warm my heart.” May we all see beams of mercy and light this Advent season.

Only God Can Make a Tree

Fri, November 12, 2021 Published by

I think that I shall never see
A poem lovely as a tree.

A tree whose hungry mouth is pressed
Against the earth’s sweet flowing breast;

A tree that looks at God all day,
And lifts her leafy arms to pray;

A tree that may in Summer wear
A nest of robins in her hair;

Upon whose bosom snow has lain;
Who intimately lives with rain.

Poems are made by fools like me,
But only God can make a tree.

– “Trees” by Joyce Kilmer

This poem is what my mind kept returning to as I visited San Antonio a few weeks ago. I was there to see my Aunt and do some sightseeing around the city and my eyes and heart were drawn to the beautiful trees there. More than once I had the urge to climb the branches of a few of them, but resisted only because I may have gotten myself kicked out of places like the Alamo and the San Jose Mission if I attempted such shenanigans.

There were beautiful tall oak trees all over with their large armed branches twisting and turning as they reached ever outward and upward. Within their twiggy fingers they held air plants which reminded me of tiny unfinished birds’ nests.

At the Alamo there was a huge pecan tree that was planted in 1850 by the explorer and rancher Peter Gallagher. It is the oldest tree on the property and is called a “pampered princess’ by the Alamo horticulturalist because it is treated so well by all the caretakers. Being over 80 feet tall I would say this pampered princess is very well taken care of and adored by more than just the squirrels.

I have always found myself feeling closest to God when I am in nature and amongst the trees. There is something about a large ancient tree that not only reminds me of the Creator, but shows me who I should strive to be as well. Standing strong and sturdy against the elements. A sentry, offering a place of respite without judgment in the shade of its leaves and the strength of its limbs. Reaching skyward towards the sun with a quiet grace knowing, that no matter what happens, all shall be well.

Nature is a spiritual place created completely from seed to towering tree by God and for me it is sometimes the best sanctuary for prayer. May we all be able to appreciate and enjoy the blessings we can find every day in nature.

Commemorating Veterans Day

Sun, November 7, 2021 Published by

Each year in November the commemoration of Veterans Day gives us a time to stop and pause to remember and honor the sacrifices of those who have served in our armed forces. And what could be more appropriate than to read and reflect on excerpts from the following article “What is a Vet?” by a veteran, Father Denis Edward O’Brien. (I found the article among papers saved by my late husband Ed. Both he and Father O’Brien served in the U. S. Marine Corps in the South Pacific in WWII.)

Some veterans bear visible signs of their service, a missing limb, a jagged scar, a certain look in the eye, a piece of shrapnel in the leg—or perhaps another sort of inner steel: The soul’s ally forged in the refinery of adversity. Except in parades, however, the men and women who have kept America safe wear no badge or emblem. You can’t tell a vet just by looking. So what is a vet?

  • He is the cop on the beat who spent six months in Saudi Arabia sweating two gallons a day making sure the armored personnel carriers didn’t run out of fuel.
  • She or he is the nurse who fought against futility and went to sleep sobbing every night for two solid years in Da Nang
  • He is the POW who went away one person and came back another—or didn’t come back at all.
  • He is the three anonymous heroes in the Tomb of the Unknowns, whose presence at the Arlington National Cemetery must forever preserve the memory of all the anonymous heroes whose valor dies unrecognized with them on the battlefield or in the ocean’s sunless deeps
  • He is the old guy bagging groceries at the supermarket—palsied now and aggravatingly slow—who helped liberate a Nazi death camp and who wishes all day long that his wife were still alive to hold him when nightmares come.
  • They are ordinary and yet extraordinary human beings—individuals who offered some of their most vital years in the service of their country, and who sacrificed their ambitions so others would not have to sacrifice their own.

So remember each time you see someone who has served our country, just lean over and say “Thank You.”

As we remember veterans no longer with us with gratitude in our hearts and reach out to thank veterans still in our lives, we commemorate this Veterans Day with a special, heartfelt thanks to all veterans in our Beatitudes Campus community. Thank you for your service, indeed!

Friends of Plaza View

Sat, November 6, 2021 Published by

I recently had lunch with a great fellow, Charles Hobgood. It seemed as though we had known each other for years-and in full disclosure, I knew of him before I ever actually met him. “Hobs”, as he prefers to be known, came to the campus from Defiance, Ohio where he taught at Defiance College, a United Church of Christ College. He and Marabeth conducted most of their research about the campus from afar, taking video tours and attending webinars that we conducted over the course of the pandemic.

But little could I have known the heart of this true giver until we had an opportunity for a little “tea and toast”, and he shared with me a vision for being of service to our assisted living residents in Plaza View. So, with his vision, foresight and kindness, we are starting an organized program of serving residents called “Friends of Plaza View”. Hobs has penned some narrative that I believe says it quite well:

Even after all this time
The sun never says to the moon
“You owe me”
What happens with a love like that?
It lights the whole world

Hafiz – 13th century Persian mystic

Hafix’s main point is how important it is to make a contribution. This is verified by what the gerontology literature says today are the two most important aspects in aging well – namely having an influence on our daily lives and making a contribution in our world. The opportunity to participate in the Friends of Plaza View gives residents of the Beatitudes a chance to actualize both of these characteristics.

What does becoming a Friend of Plaza View ask? It asks that you do one of two things – either become a one-on-one friend with a resident of Plaza View or volunteer to help in the facility for an hour each week helping the staff do things like distribute the mail or pass out beverages, etc. What does become a “one on one friend” mean? It could mean many things such as just sitting in conversation, watching a TV show together, attending an event together of just taking them out into the sun.

I think on of the greatest definitions of love is: “love is the process of leading you back to yourself.” What is the process of leading you back to yourself? LISTENING!! Sometimes a person needs a story more than dinner. Oh, and one more extremely important point – this is a two-way street where we both learn from each other. The chance to sit under a canopy on the patio outside of Plaza View and chat with a hundred-year-old plus African American woman about the life she’s led in a segregated word is like a free graduate school education without tests and papers.

How do we get started? The short way is, if this speaks to you after you have read about the opportunity is to email me at [email protected] and I will get in touch!! (Please leave your email, phone and campus address and which of the two opportunities speaks to you.)

If you want more information, a staff member or I will be coming to the various building meetings to chat more and try to engage you in this project. It is important to know that this is a need well beyond our campus and nationally 56% of all Plaza View-like residents identify loneliness as a major issue.

Rod’s epilogue: So, along with Hobs, I am thrilled to be a part of an organized effort to be the community that cares – from within and with not only staff but residents involved. Thank you, sir for your generous spirit and heart that radiates the true mission of this campus! Great days ahead!

Japanese Kintsugi

Sun, October 24, 2021 Published by

Awhile back I broke a favorite vase of mine and I tried as best I could to put it back together again. It brought to mind the nursery rhyme about Humpty Dumpty after his fall. I kept the vase although it didn’t look the same and I couldn’t use it for it’s original purpose. Perhaps it looked ok from afar but upon closer inspection you can see where it was broken and repaired. I thought of my vase when I learned about the Japanese artform called Kintsugi. It is a beautiful form of ceramics which has much to teach us. When a vase or bowl or cup is broken, artists gather up the broken pieces and glue them back together. It is how they put them back together that is steeped in wisdom and beauty. They mix gold dust with the glue and instead of trying to hide the cracks they own them, honor the, even accentuate them by making them golden. They celebrate the cracks as part of their story. Kintsugi ceramics are stunningly beautiful and it is believed that once repaired in this ancient method, Kintsugi pieces are more beautiful, and more loved than before they were broken.

According to art historians, kintsugi came about accidentally. When the 15th-century shogun Ashikaga Yoshimasa broke his favorite tea bowl, he sent it to China for repairs and was disappointed that it came back stapled together. The metal pins were unsightly, so local craftsmen came up with a solution — they filled the crack with a golden lacquer, making the bowl more unique and valuable. This repair elevated the fallen bowl back to its place as shogun’s favorite and prompted a whole new art form. Recently, a resident gave me a book called Life is Messy by Matthew Kelly who asks the question, “Can something that has been broken be put back together in a way that makes it more beautiful than ever before?” Kelly laments how quickly and easily our society throws broken things away because we cling to the false notion that we have to try to keep everyone and everything from being broken. He says, “I marvel how God doesn’t use straight lines or right-angles in nature. We invented right-angles and straight lines to prop up our insecure humanity. The perfection of nature is marked by crooked lines, brokenness, imperfect colors, and things that seem out of place. The perfection of creation is achieved through its imperfection. And so it is with human beings. Your imperfections are part of what make you perfectly yourself. If we put on the mind of God, we discover one of the most beautiful truths this life has to offer: Something that has been devastatingly broken can be put back together in a way that makes it more beautiful than ever before. It is true for things, but it is even more true for people, and it is true for you. This is the source and the summit of hope.”

Scripture agrees that like the kintsugi crafters who repaired the shogun’s bowl with gold long ago, imperfections are gifts to be worked with, not shames to be hidden. 2 Corinthians 4:7 says, “we have this treasure in earthen vessels, that the excellence of the power may be of God and not of us.” Owning the fact that we are all clay jars allows us to be free and human in the way God intended. Each of us is subject to chipping and cracking and likely to contain imperfections but it is those cracks and imperfections that give us character and beauty.

Celebrating Indigenous People’s Day

Mon, October 11, 2021 Published by

Many Native Americans and their supporters like myself recognize the importance of celebrating the history and contributions of ALL AMERICANS, but there has to be a better way to honor Italian Americans, without associating them with Christopher Columbus.
I hope that we could find a reasonable compromise to satisfy all parties involved moving forward.

Leave Stress Behind with Mindful Walking

Wed, October 6, 2021 Published by

Ever wish you could leave stress behind? You can, and you don’t have to travel very far to do it.

Perhaps the easiest of all the techniques I teach is mindful walking. Although remarkably simple to do, it’s a very powerful form of walking meditation that can defuse stress within minutes. Mindful walking relaxes the body by channeling anxiety and nervous energy into physical activity and calms the mind by promoting focused awareness. And it’s versatile: You don’t need to put on hiking boots, leave civilization, or climb a mountain to experience this restorative power of walking. You only need a few minutes of time and some room to walk, as long as you’re willing to change your state of mind. The goal is to use walking meditation to gently shift the focus of your attention from worrying about the past or the future, and to focus on what is actually happening in the present moment.


Here is a simple mindful walking exercise you can practice whenever you need it:

  1. While walking, pay attention to your breathing. Use this focus on the breath as an anchor to stabilize your attention.
  2. Next, allow yourself to notice any sights, sounds, or physical sensations that may come up as you walk. Rest your awareness for a moment on that sight, sound, or sensation, then return your awareness to your breathing.
  3. If persistent thoughts distract you from your mindful awareness, simply notice them, then return your awareness to your breathing.

Here is a variation of mindful walking that uses your breathing to consciously connect you to the vast web of life on planet Earth:

  1. As you focus on your breath, following the instructions above, remember that plants release the oxygen that you’re breathing into your lungs, and that, in turn, you breathe out the carbon dioxide that the plants take in.
  2. In your mind’s eye, follow your breath as you exhale. Imagine that you can see the carbon dioxide molecules leaving your nose or mouth and flowing into the leaves on the plants nearest you as you walk.
  3. As you breathe in, envision yourself inhaling the oxygen that the plants are giving off. Picture the trails of oxygen flowing from the trees, grass, flowers and shrubs into your lungs. Take note of how your visualization of this very natural process affects your sense of the world around you.

Pilgrimage Socks

Sun, October 3, 2021 Published by

What do you think of when you read the word ‘pilgrimage’? Websters Dictionary offers us two definitions; ‘a pilgrimage being a journey undertaken by a person to a shrine or a sacred place’, and also and perhaps more interestingly, ‘the course of life on earth’. Whether we think of pilgrimage being to a particular place, or within the wider sense of life itself being a constant journey towards finding enlightenment and joy, it remains clear that by necessity pilgrimage (even a metaphorical one) includes change, and importantly, a change within the person undertaking the journey.

Some time ago, while listening to a Rabbi speak about Jewish values relating to aging, I heard this quote; “I have reached an age when, if someone tells me to wear socks, I don’t have to”. Perhaps some of you can connect with that sentiment, and if you can then you are among illustrious company because that quote comes from Albert Einstein. I’m not sure how often Einstein wore socks, but there is something wonderful and refreshing about anyone who in growing older has also grown bolder.

The pilgrimage of aging is a journey, a journey to allowing us to know ourselves and God in a new light, accompanied by the wisdom of our years. That journey might be difficult, but if we look around us there will be people to help us on our way. If we approach aging as a pilgrimage to greater understanding rather than just the nuisance of ‘getting old’, then we open our hearts to learning, self-appreciation and freedom- even the freedom of not wearing socks if you don’t want to. May we all know that on our pilgrimage of life we do not journey alone. We all as fellow pilgrims journey with God as our guide. Perhaps this is best put by Sidney Carter in his hymn One More Step Along The World I Go; “You are older than the world can be, you are younger than the life in me, ever old and ever new, keep me traveling along with you: And it’s from the old I travel to the new; keep me traveling along with you.” So let us journey on together.

The Cookie Thief

Sun, September 19, 2021 Published by

A friend of mine was waiting at an airport one night with several long hours before her flight. She hunted for a book in the airport shops, bought a bag of cookies and eventually found a place to sit and wait for her flight.

She began reading and was soon engrossed in her book, but happened to see that the man sitting beside her, as bold as could be grabbing a cookie from the bag resting between their two seats. Attempting to avoid making a scene she decided to ignore him.

So, she munched on a couple of the cookies and each time she looked up from her book the gutsy cookie thief was again diminishing her stock! She was getting more irritated as the minutes ticked by, thinking to herself “If I wasn’t so nice, I would blacken his eye.”

With each cookie she took he took one too, until there was only one left. She wondered what he would do. With a smile on his face, and a nervous laugh, he took the last cookie and broke it in half.

He offered her half, as he ate the other, she snatched it from him and thought “oooh, brother! This guy has some nerve! He’s so rude- he didn’t even show any gratitude!!”

She could not remember being so annoyed, and sighed with relief when her flight was called. She thrust her book into her purse and headed to the gate, refusing to look back at the thieving cookie bandit.

She boarded the plane, and sank in her seat, and looked into her purse for her book which was almost completed. As she reached in her purse, she gasped with surprise- there in front of her eyes was an unopened bag of cookies.

She said to herself- “If mine are in here, then the others must have been his.” Too late to apologize, she realized that she was the rude one, the ungrateful one, the thief.

Perspective and hindsight are precious commodities. We can all become so wrapped up in our lives that we forget that there are two sides to every story, and as Aesop’s fable says, ‘every truth has two sides; it is as well to look at both before we commit ourselves to either’. Perhaps today we might all take a moment to consider the perspectives of others on our own actions. Perhaps we ought to try looking at ourselves and our actions from someone else’s perspective? Perhaps we owe someone an apology? Perhaps we will be brave enough to do something about it.

A Prayer for the Remembrance of 9/11

Fri, September 10, 2021 Published by

O God, our hope and refuge,
in our distress we come quickly to you.
Shock and horror of that tragic day have subsided,
replaced now with an emptiness,
a longing for an innocence lost.

We come remembering those who lost their lives
in New York, Washington D.C., and Pennsylvania.

We are mindful of the sacrifice of public servants
who demonstrated the greatest love of all
by laying down their lives for friends.
We commit their souls to your eternal care
and celebrate their gifts to a fallen humanity.

We come remembering
and we come in hope,
not in ourselves, but in you.

As foundations we once thought secure have been shaken,
we are reminded of the illusion of security.

In commemorating this tragedy,
we give you thanks for your presence
in our time of need
and we seek to worship you in Spirit and in truth,
our guide and our guardian. Amen.

– Written by The Rev. Jeremy Pridgeon, UMC

Celebrating the Beatitudes Team on Labor Day

Mon, September 6, 2021 Published by

On Monday, we will celebrate Labor Day, a day that pays tribute to the contributions and achievements of American workers. Labor Day was created by the labor movement in the late 19th century and became a federal holiday in 1894. Labor Day weekend also symbolizes the end of summer and is often a time of celebration.

On this Labor Day, I want to celebrate each of the Beatitudes team members—not just for the individual and unique strengths they bring for the collective good of Beatitudes Campus, but for their dedication to the campus mission. They are the backbone of the campus. If we achieve anything, it’s because of the passion and dedication shared by our staff to a common cause – to inspire purpose and vibrancy among our residents in whatever they do.

I know that our staff have made many sacrifices to keep our Beatitudes community engaging and safe, particularly during the past 18 months. I am incredibly grateful for each member of the Beatitudes Strong team. Their amazing talent and limitless energy continue to be focused on the shared goals of the campus. We would not be the community we are without their commitment and effort.

On this Labor Day weekend, I ask that you take a moment to reflect on the countless contributions of our Beatitudes team members. They ensure our community is an engaging place to live. When you are out taking a walk, eating a meal, or just sitting enjoying the view, please take a moment to thank the staff for their hard work and dedication. Tell them they have made a difference. I guarantee you will make their day.

Have a good and safe Labor Day weekend.

Optimistic Realism

Sun, August 29, 2021 Published by

I find that to be a worthy challenge to be an optimist AND a realist. To learn to hold those two opposing but equally true things at once. We can grieve all that we’ve been through and also find the strength to deal with the ongoing reality. We can grieve those we’ve lost. We can lament, and fight and struggle with our pandemic fatigue while also finding hope in today, in the reality here and now as we seek to live each day to the fullest.